3 ways you've Lost the Plot about your Enneagram Type

If you've been mostly googling and instagramming your information about your Enneagram Type, here are 3 things to remember...

(This is a tough love post... deep breath... here we go...)

I have a former client that decided that she was a type 6 early on. (This was years ago, before I had been officially trained in what I now call the "eastern enneagram" — before social media westernized the whole system into stereotypes of the stereotypes. 😣)

When I approached her saying, "Hey I've learned so much about the enneagram since I last met with you, and if you're open to exploring whether you're a different type, I'd love to offer you a free session and correct some misinformation I might have given you about the enneagram," she abruptly declined and said,

"No, I'm DEFINITELY a type 6!"

😒

Hmmmm, not quite what a 6 would say.

So I asked her, "What makes you say you're definitely a type 6?"

"Because I'm so anxious about everything."

"Like what?"

"I'm always worried about..., ...., ...., ...."

"What worries you about those things?" (things like family, work, image)

I'm not going to quote her exactly for privacy reasons, but the gist was "did I do a good job?" "it's embarrassing" and "it makes me look bad."

If you've studied the 9 Acknowledgment Languages™️ that I developed, you might deduce those are "Green Types" reasonings and look at Type 3.

If you're new to the 9AL™️, you might begin to lean toward Type 1 because of the words "good" and "bad."

And either of those types would be good for further exploration.

You might also reason that 3 is the stress number for type 6 so maybe she really is a type 6 and was experiencing stress when you approached her.

Valid. 👌

But here's why after 6 years of teaching and coaching using the enneagram exclusively, I've eliminated type 6 for this person.

You see, type 6s are completely open to guidance. Even in stress, a type 6 would ask questions about my perspective, and at least agree to exploring it further before turning it down.

And, although type 6s are overthinkers, they don't really consider themselves as "overthinkers" — more like "preparers" or that others don't think enough. So turning down an opportunity to know themselves better is not usually characteristic of a type 6.

When the "westernized" type 6 has been pigeon-holed as the "anxious types" it has created an environment that dilutes the essence of what it means to be a type 6.

You've lost the plot.

womp womp.

If you've found yourself in the position of questioning whether or not your knowledge of the enneagram has lost its eastern roots, consider these 3 things...

1. The Enneagram isn't formulaic.

If you <insert behavior here>, then you are a type <insert # here>.

Nope. You cannot just take a test, follow a few instagrammers, or take the word of a friend who isn't qualified to ask you the right questions.

First of all, your Core Type is based on MOTIVATIONS not behaviors. But even if you swap that first bit with <insert motivation here>, that is a really deep well of subconsciousness.

You must bring a willingness to dive deep into that well, and that can take months or even years, especially if you are doing it alone or with a person who isn't focused on your best interest and might distract you from your own truths or mislead you to believe their truths.

I'm happy to help you simplify the typing process. Click here to book a 1-1 session.

2. The Enneagram is a personal growth GUIDE not a Label

You do have a Core Type, but you're not meant to box yourself into that Label.

When you start to label the types, you start to label people. When you start to label people, you box them in and stifle their growth.

The truth is that you have all 9 types within you, but some of those types you have more access to than others: your Core Type, your wings, your stress and security numbers.

Here's a great analogy:

If you're not already familiar with the "Fruits of the Spirit," they are: Love, Joy, Peace, Patience, Kindness, Goodness, Faithfulness, Gentleness, and Self-Control.
(For me personally, I have a hard time with that Self-Control 🙈. But Love and Joy come pretty easily.)

These are divine gifts. We all have the ability to develop and act out these traits.

Why would you just choose one?

When I put effort into it, I can muster up self-control. And when I do, I feel proud of myself. Like I've grown up or accomplished something. The more I practice it, the more integrated it becomes into my character, the easier it gets to access it.

Same with the enneagram numbers.

The way to grow personally, isn't to be the best Type 6 you can be, but to integrate all 9 types into your consciousness.

Need guidance? Click here to book a 1-1 session or join a small group Q&A session: The Enneagram Simplified.

3. The Enneagram is a MIRROR of your patterns and blindspots.

If you're over-identifying with a certain type and saying, "no, I'm definitely a type <insert # here>," that's an indication that your ego is in charge in that moment. The bigger the ego, the bigger the mask, the less your true self can emerge.

If you find yourself feeling repelled by a certain type, saying, "I really don't like type <insert # here>'s" or "please don't say I'm a type <insert # here>," that is a reflection of something within yourself that's being repressed.

These blindspots and patterns are hard truths but there's a simple framework you can follow to remind you to connect to your core and not to the patterns of the ego no matter what enneagram type is your core type.

Here is a collection of meditations to help you overcome any resistance or inner critic that's keeping you from integrating and growing.

Categories: : Enneagram